Review: ‘My Heart and Other Black Holes’ by Jasmine Warga

Review: ‘My Heart and Other Black Holes’ by Jasmine WargaMy Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga
Published by Balzer + Bray on February 10th 2015
Genres: Contemporary, Love & Romance, Young Adult
Pages: 302
Format: eBook
Source: borrowed from the library
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.

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At first, I was intrigued..Here is Aysel who is obsessed with trying to find someone she can partner with so she can finally be free and commit suicide. The feelings she goes through are very similar to someone who is depressed, but what I didn’t really understand was WHY. It felt like such a flimsy reason to me. The fact that she is deathly scared that she could have the genes that her own father has that could make her go out of control? It didn’t really fit for me. Roman’s reason is completely understandable. What happened to him was just so sad. I kind of wanted the story to be from his point of view instead. It would have been a black hole of sadness though.

I bet if you cut open my stomach, the black slug of depression would slide out. Guidance counselors always love to say, “Just think positively,” but that’s impossible when you have this thing inside you, strangling every ounce of happiness you can muster. My body is an efficient happy-thought-killing machine.

There’s always the people who say to just snap out of it. Stop being sad and just get on with your life. Both Aysel and Roman encounter this and I could relate to these characters in that way. Depression is something that I am still going through and to see characters in books go through what I go through on a daily basis, can be quite daunting. Knowing you’re not alone helps. And the hope that Aysel realizes in the end made me tear. She says something to Roman that was so beautiful and thought-provoking, it felt like she was telling it to me.

It isn’t easy to place yourself in their shoes, but I believe Jasmine did a good job. A really great job actually, because it got this book nerd to look at her own life as well. That’s something that the greatest books do. Relate to your own life and remind you about the beauty of life. Pick this one if you like tough topics, and a little bit of romance though that’s not the main story-line (thank god). I find other books completely romanticize the state of depression or any other mental illness, but this one didn’t.


There are enough broken things in the world. You shouldn’t go around breaking things just for the fun of it.
Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill.
Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and blood.
What people never understand is that depression isn’t about the outside; it’s about the inside. Something inside me is wrong.
I want to die, but I don’t want to hurt anyone else.
What if this isn’t the end and we just go on to a place even worse than this one?
It’s like your sadness is so deep and overwhelming that you’re worried it will drown everyone else in your life if you let them too close to it.
She had hope. Hope is beautiful.
I think you’re crampy in a completely different way. In a beautiful way.
Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some are better at dealing with it than others.

reading progress





1 Comment

  1. Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books

    March 25, 2015 at 5:03 PM

    I love deep books like this. I can’t read them allll the time or I start feeling too much, but I think I’m due for one now. I’m glad you liked it…. and I agree, I hate when people tell me to just get over something. I don’t think I’m clinically depressed, but I go through periods where life just feels hard. Maybe to other people my problems seem dumb to dwell on, but I can’t just flip a switch and make myself happy either. I think I’m going to read this book soon… great review!

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